Friday, August 24, 2012

Mommy Guilt Coaster

Last week was a crazy week. One minute I was up and the next I was down. And then add Mommy Guilt in the mix and it was the craziest roller coaster week ever.

We found out we had a couple grand in needed expenses. Then I got offered a job. Down. Up. Mommy Guilt.

I got offered a great job that seemed perfect for me. But in two days, I had to give them an answer, find childcare for my daughter, take a class the next week, and start teaching the next. It seemed crazy but it seemed possible.

I had so many emotions going through my head. I was looking for a sign. I thought I had had one with the job offer a day after I learned of some great expenses.

All the while, I had mommy guilt going on. If I go back to work I am putting work ahead of her. If I don't let her get to know other kids in daycare she is missing out. Oi Vay! No matter what I chose, I felt like I was losing or messing up someone else's life!

Any other moms experience that? I know you have.

I wish there was a a magic button to see which is the correct answer to your situation but there isn't.

I received 3 really good pieces of advice during that week, especially over the job option.

1. What is the right thing for your family situation today, next year, but today, with everything as it is?

2. Which option would you regret the most if you had to choose at this moment? Missing out on the job or missing out on moments with AG (my daughter).

3. Go with your gut.

It all came down to AG.

(I know a ton of moms who work and they are incredible women and I know that they love their kids more than life itself. So I am NOT saying that they chose wrong. They chose what works best for them.)

My thoughts that week were: I should show her a mom can work and still keep up with things at the house even though I don't keep up with things at the house now. I had the whole fall planned for us and now I have to cancel it. My hubby works away a lot so when he is home, I would be working. But then I would have an income. I could help pay for the debt I incurred for my business.

But I couldn't find childcare that wasn't more than our house note and that I trusted that had the hours we needed (at the time). Maybe I will find the perfect childcare soon. I just didn't have it when I needed it. I would regret putting her in a childcare I wasn't one hundred percent happy with. And that was my gut feeling.

I was sad about missing out on the job but at peace with the decision I made.

I hate when life gets in the way of life...but that's life, huh?!

What are some mommy guilt stories you have?




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